"Trust in what you love, continue to do it, and it will take you where you need to go."
Every pursuit, regardless of its nature, has challenges. Not every day is productive, nor is it balanced. But it doesn't matter because when you have made the decision to follow your heart, then you need to trust that the journey will take you where you need to go.
I've had to dig a little deeper lately for positive energy and optimism. Transition is never an easy thing and sometimes it grinds on the edges of commitment. I find at times like these it's helpful to turn to sources of inspiration. Books, friends, my art, and my family.
I have a story to tell, one of challenge and adversity that spans my lifetime, but not now. Coming to the point of sharing is something that I am still awaiting. But one day I hope to find the courage to dig into my existence and put it out there.
Why?? Maybe by sharing my experience of adversity and disappointment I may inspire someone else to plow through their own down times. Or the process of unpacking my suitcase of despair may help me demystify the memories and put them into perspective for a more content and peaceful future.
You see, it doesn't matter who I was or how my life has unfolded to this point, what matters is the person I have become today. But the learning never stops, the evolution never ceases, and the opportunities to grow never stop coming.
Transition brings enormous uncertainty and fear, but it's not the feelings you have that matters, it's what you do with them that counts. I've had to work a little harder lately to overcome my fears and frustrations, and it's not over yet. Some parts of my life have not turned out as I had expected, I'm in a position that some days I know I'm not cut out for, I don't have the tools to deal with them, I never wanted them in the first place and I admit I don't want them now. But I have them, they are here, they are part of me now, and I have people depending on me to be strong enough to not only accept them, but embrace them for all that I am.
Being the mother of an Autistic and Intellectually Disabled child is one of those things, some days are tough, many of our dreams have disintegrated and I fear for our future. But regardless of this, I have come to realize that having Thomas in my life has made me a better person, and as I embrace my role as his mother, protector, and advocate I will continue to become all that I am capable of being, and I will give this little child who is so very much at a disadvantage, every ounce of love, energy, and understanding I have.
One thing is for sure, and that my passion for art and art journaling has been a rock for me to stand on, it's a life line to my authentic self. It's what I love and I have learned to trust that it will take me where I need to go.
(This journal page was done in acrylic and watercolor pencil in my Stillman & Birn Epsilon Series Sketchbook)
Thanks for checking in. xx