Thursday, February 16, 2012

Worthy of Friendship

Sometimes, there are people in your life that are very special.  Some people just stand back and love you from afar.  No fuss, no bother, no fanfare.  It's obvious they love you for who you are, nothing else.  They give you what your need, which is mostly understanding, and they ask nothing in return.

I have a friend like this, in fact I have several. They're the kind of people who stick with you through life...regardless, who share your ups and downs, and make you feel supported.  One in particular is Elizabeth, another is Amy! They are both generous, kind, loving people.  Always positive, always happy, always with a kind encouraging word.  They are the kind of people I value so very much, and often feel completely unworthy of.

Last week, just because she knew I was trying to keep my kids healthy (unsuccessfully I might add), because she knew I had a lot going on, because she knows how homesick I get for Australia at this time of year, Amy turned up on my doorstep with a beautiful bouquet of flowers. She didn't want to stay, didn't expect crazy gushing squeals of delight, didn't want to add to my load, and didn't expect anything in return. She just wanted to let me know that she was thinking of me, that she is there for me, and that she loves me.

And a couple of weeks ago, just because she was visiting the States for a few weeks, because she was already trekking half way around the planet, because she knew how homesick I am, Elizabeth arrived in the US with a HUGE box of Aussie goodies for me.   She didn't crash on my doorstep, didn't mind the excess luggage, just wanted to let me know she was thinking of me.

Have you ever felt unworthy of such friends? Wishing that you were just better at being a friend in return?  I do.  Someone once told met that if you feel unworthy of someone, then you probably are...I don't think I buy into that sentiment.  But I do wish I had the capacity to express my friendships better than I do.  I'm not one of those people who gushes, and goo's over babies, who oozes charm in social situations, who dazzles a crowd with fascinating stories or glamorous shoes.  I'm quite a plain and simple person really, there's nothing flash about me at all, I'm! 

Don't get me wrong.  I'm very happy in my own skin.  I'm happy with my life, my family, my interests.  I think I'm probably what you call well-rounded.  But I'm not an alfa, I'm just doer, a quiet, in-the-corner kind of person, a reader of books, a thinker, an artist...plain and simple. 

But these expressions of friendships were profound.  They made me realize how loved I am, how lucky I am to be loved, and I want these women to know that I love them back.  I want them  to know what beautiful people they are, what special friends they are, and how grateful I am to have them in my life.  Even if I don't express my friendship in ways I wish I could, I do love and appreciate you both for everything you are.

This journal page was a flower from the bouquet Amy gave me.  It's done in watercolor pencils, paint and ink. I did it as a way to express my gratitude to them, and to all my friends. 

Thanks for checking in. xx